This is ridiculously hard. I have 3 major paranoia's: spiders, anticipated pain, and the feeling of being alone. The problem is that I have felt more alone in the past 24 hours than I have in my entire life I believe; especially last night.
My boyfriend of 3 years 7 months (today) left to go on a graduation/school trip with a class of his from college yesterday. He's travelling all over the UK and gets to try Guinness in Ireland and see Stonehenge and go to London (to which I'd love to visit again). I dropped him and his two friends off at the Atlanta Airport yesterday at 2:30pm.
Then last night, at my friend's house in ATL where I stayed the night, I cried for hours - and yes, it is ridiculous. I know that it's utterly ridiculous, but every time I tried to stop crying I'd just start hyperventilating.
It's that feeling of being so alone. Even though my friend and her 2 year old were in the next rooms and my friends and family are still around, I felt more alone than ever. Knowing that I can't call him in the middle of the night if I have a bad dream or that he can't really call me except maybe every three days or so. He feels farther away than even the UK right now and I don't really know how to stop feeling like this.
I'd rather not cry until it hurts and I wake up with swollen eyes for the next 15 nights.
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